Her Fire to Melt Her Ice
by GeekIsShowing
Summary: One-shot for the Sexuality Challenge by SeverusHermioneForever. A locket full of secrets. Remembrance of fire and hazel eyes.Her ice kept melting, but it always froze again. Until she could no longer run from the flames. LM/NM, NM/? Femslash & Het!


**Her Fire To Melt Her Ice**

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong>This is a fic I wrote for the Admitting Their Sexuality Challenge by SeverusHermioneForever. This story revived my muses and I really loved writing it. It is both Het and Femslash, be warned! This was finished at 5 am, couldn't sleeping without finishing.

**Pairings: **Lucius/Narcissa, Narcissa/Female Canon Character

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or anything in J. universe.

* * *

><p>The brush caressed the sculpted, high cheekbone, giving it a slight blush. Not enough to stand out, only a touch of tea-rose pink to hide how sickly pale they really were. Long, light blonde hair carefully curled to gently touch her slender shoulders. Big, slightly slanted aquamarine eyes met their twins in the huge oval mirror in front of her. They were slightly sooted, to give the appearance of alertness in otherwise tired eyes.<p>

A manicured, gracile hand went up to finger the exquisite silver locket that rested in the hollow between her collarbones. She gazed down on it and allowed a soft smile to grace her face. It was the only comfort, only warmth she could allow herself in an otherwise harsh and cold world. She kept its contents a secret, the pictures it harbored.

Any other woman would proudly show everyone in the near vicinity the pictures of her son and husband, the love for them clear for all to see. But she wasn't any other woman. Yes, she was a proud wife, a proud mother. But she was also Narcissa Malfoy, born into the pureblood society where coldness and masks where expected, always. And a mask she wore, everyday. The ice never cracking, never melting. Unless she was alone, with the locket in her hand. But not even then dared Narcissa truly feel or even open it, her most precious possession.

For there were not two pictures in that locket, but three.

Behind the portrait of her handsome, cruel husband was one of _her._

Dark hair cascaded around a heart shaped face with rosy cheeks and kind, dark hazel eyes. Those eyes… They still haunted her in her sleep, one moment hazy with pleasure, the other sharp with accusation. The memory of _her _made Narcissa let out a shaky sigh as she gazed upon the locket. She never removed that portrait from behind that of her husband, but the knowledge of it being there burned her like a scalding flame, her second skin of ice melting at the mere thought of _her._

With a suppressed cry Narcissa clenched the fist that held the necklace and slammed it against the desk surface of her vanity. She tried to get herself together, get a control of the ice, but those eyes in the back of her mind kept melting it. With a loud bang the locket met the wall on her left as she hurled it away from her, slumping down on the seat with her hands in front of her face.

"Narcissa…"

The sound of her husband's voice from the door made her straighten herself and after a quick glance in the mirror she turned to face him, the pureblood mask of ice firmly in place again.

"Lucius." She answered him with a light and surprisingly steady voice. "What brings my husband here? Is there anything you require of me?" Her hands were placed on her lap, and she allowed the ice to crack enough to let her fiddle nervously with the fabric of her soft blue nightgown.

It had been a present from Lucius for her 27th birthday, two years after Draco's birth. The pregnancy had been difficult and they'd been informed by their midwife that trying for another child could prove fatal for Narcissa. The nightgown had been a gift and a silent statement from her husband that he wished for her in his bed still, despite her forced infertility. She smiled tearily at the memory, and for a moment felt sad for her husband. Despite his cold, cruel ways, he loved Draco and had always wished for more children. That he didn't blame her for not giving him that showed how truly caring he really was.

She startled at the cool feel of the locket chain against her bare collarbone, so deep in her reminiscing she hadn't noticed that Lucius had picked it up from the floor. He was now closing the clasp behind her neck, his long hair tickling her. She shivered at the feeling, but in her mind, it was dark curls, not fair blonde, that made her do so. Her painted cheeks tinged red with guilt and she closed her eyes. She felt her husband's hand on her shoulder, his thumb stroking softly in an almost comforting way.

"If you replaced my portrait, I would not be cross with you Narcissa."

She stiffened at his word and her eyes flashed up to meet his, shocked at what she'd heard.

"What?" She whispered, her ice cracking a tiny bit, letting the disbelief she was feeling shine through.

Lucius sighed, and a tired smile came to his face as he lovingly gazed down on his wife. The hand that wasn't on her shoulder caught her chin in a gentle grip as he made her look up at him.

"I know, Cissy."

She stared at him; she hadn't been called that in years. She blanched at his words when they caught up with her. He knew? How? She had never told _anyone _of her feelings. Except _her. _His tender grip on her kept her from leaning away from him. She closed her eyes in shame and tried to turn away, but Lucius kept her firmly in place.

"Dear, please look at me." He entreated her. When Narcissa wouldn't obey he sighed. He forcibly lifted his wife to her feet and then swept her up in his arms. She could only stare wide-eyed at him and grasp his neck tightly as he carried her to the mahogany queen-size bed. He gently sat down with her on his lap, an arm went around her waist and a hand returned to grasp her chin.

Stormy grey met swirling aquamarine. Both held emotions neither were allowed by their masks to express. Narcissa could see his care for her, his pain clenched at her heart. But she could also see acceptance in his eyes. Lucius saw his wife's shame, her guilt and regret. It pained him to see the mixture of fear and love in her eyes. Did she truly think he could do anything more than love her?

He had adored her since Hogwarts, his Ice Queen, his beautiful swan. Even then he had known, but thought he could change her. Make her love him more than she'd loved _her._ It was only after the birth of their son and he came down from the high of becoming a father that he realized things would never change. Narcissa loved him, yes, in her own way, but he would never be first. He resented it in the beginning. Resented his wife to clinging to something that couldn't be, resented _her _for making his wonderful, icy Narcissa hurt like that.

Then had come the acceptance, as the years went by. He learned to live in _her _shadow, and soon Narcissa became more than an ideal that he had painted in his mind. She became a friend, his greatest confidant. He could now, almost 19 years into their marriage, say he wouldn't have it any other way. The marriage was painful, even heartbreaking sometimes. But he also had a wife he admired for who she was, rather than her blood status and her role as the perfect wife and mother. She was his companion in life, his _friend, _and he would be damned if he would let her continue hurting like this.

The hand on Narcissa's chin went down to the locket and he opened it, the click echoing in the silent room. He carefully started removing the portrait of himself, his own cold, proud eyes staring back at him. A pale hand grabbed his and he looked up at his wife.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, almost panicked. A strand of her otherwise perfect hair had gone astray and he absently set in place again.

"You're a proud woman, my Narcissa. I know you would never do anything against your vows to me, and that makes me happy. But I am also aware of that you're hurting, and I won't have that." Lucius replied, prying her hand off his and fully removed the picture. A familiar, female face with rosy cheeks stared up at him. "You are my wife, but you are also my friend, the only true one I have, I think." He mused drily. "I won't abide to my friends hurting, especially not you. I would do anything for you, _anything."_ She could hear the fierceness in his voice and she painfully closed her eyes.

"Lucius please don't do this. It's in the past, I'm your wife for merlin's sake."

He silenced her with a kiss, "Do not take me for a fool Narcissa." He chided her, "he turned the locket and almost shoved it in his wife's face. Lucius' heart clenched a little as he saw her stare unblinkingly at the picture, her gaze filled with an anguished mixture of guilt and unconditional love.

"I know…" he stopped, gathering his broken up emotions inside his mask, he needed to get his point across clearly. "I know you will never love me, or any man, as much as you love this woman. I've accepted that, and now I need you to accept that it's ok for you to feel so." He turned her face again, making sure she could see only acceptance and encouragement in his eyes. "You've been faithful to me for 19 whole years, you've been my friend, my confidant, and you're the mother to my child, Narcissa. It's for me to reward you for staying by my side and never wavering from it." He looked away, too emotional to continue, he could feel Narcissa shudder against him with suppressed tears. He tightened his hold on her, took a deep breath and continued. "A man needs to realize when to let go, and I've done that. I can't be selfish anymore, not when I see your pain."

"Are you divorcing me, Lucius? Are you truly casting me away for this?" Narcissa sobbed against his neck, and he could feel her anguish.

"No my darling, I would never do that to us." He swore softly into her hair. "But I'm doing something I should have done years ago. I wish you happy, Narcissa, but I'm also a selfish man. I hope you know how beaten down my pride is right now, allowing me to say this." Lucius paused, taking a deep breath, as if steeling himself for something. "If this woman returns you to the Narcissa I knew when we we're younger, then I need to stop being so egotistic and share you, my wife."

Her eyes were blank at first, then she recoiled from him, a merge of incredulity, horror and, was that hope he saw? "Lucius Malfoy, what are you saying?" she said in a heated whisper. "I am Lady Malfoy, a woman of the pureblood society! I am not some scandalous harlot that…" she would have continued had he not silenced her with another kiss and risen from the bed in one move.

Before she could say anything else he had carried her from the room, in a parody of a couple's wedding night. She didn't have time to protest as he opened the door to one of the guestrooms close to her suite and put her down just inside the door. Lucius gave his wife a last kiss before pushing her farther into the room.

"Remember that everything you do is sanctioned by your husband, and I don't want to hear another word against it. I shall be very displeased if nothing was to happen tonight. I expect to see you at breakfast at 9 tomorrow, and Narcissa, my dear, remember to have fun." He winked at her and chuckled at her angry stare and he could see her confusion before he closed the door and made sure she heard the locking charm.

His chuckling turned to real laughter as he could hear her outrageous shrieks and her tiny fists banging on the door. Whistling he wandered down the door to his study, he really needed to finish those papers for his Lord or he would taste a round of crucioes at the next meeting. And he really didn't want that.

* * *

><p>Narcissa kept banging on the door even after she knew her husband had disappeared, and she kept flinging insults at the thick door, refusing to accept that she had been locked inside a room like a disobeying little child.<p>

"That good for nothing son a banshee! When I get out of here I will ground him down to mince meat and feed him to his blasted peacocks!" She yelled at the door, she would have yelled more had not a quiet, feminine voice interrupted her.

"You still have your temper, Cissy. I'd thought you'd be too much ice by now to let it out."

Narcissa closed her eyes and held her breath, as if not believing she had heard right. That voice, _her _voice. She took another deep breath; she could smell the perfume, that gentle caress of vanilla and ginger. She would recognize it anywhere, even after all these years.

She slowly turned around, afraid of this being a dream. A particularly weird dream where her beloved husband had locked her inside a bedroom with her former _female_ lover. Said female where standing at the edge of the bed, in a cream-colored night gown that teased the floor with its length. The gown didn't hide the woman's curves; rather they accentuated them, in a very flattering way. Narcissa's breath was stolen from her as she met those eyes. Hazels met her aquamarine, so dark and different from her husband's. A small nose, sprinkled with light freckles that spread to those rosy cheeks. Full, red lips with pearly whites peeking out from behind them smiled at her.

The dark-haired woman held out a hand, smiling coyly, but her eyes were insecure and Narcissa could see that the nails on said hand had been bitten down. Something ignited inside her, and she slowly came forward, raising her hand to rest in the air beside the other woman's.

"Is this real?" she whispered, not daring to believe it. She could feel blocks of ice falling inside her, painfully at the thought of this being nothing but a dream.

Hazel eyes wrinkled slightly in amusement and a slightly tanned, long-fingered hand took Narcissa's paler one. The small flame that ignited before rose inside her and she gasped. Suddenly _her _face was inches away and she thought she'd pass out from the heat licking at her icy skin.

"As real as anything else in this world, I would guess" she got as an answer, before she was consumed by those fiery lips, and she surrendered. Warm arms went around her and she felt feverish with feelings she hadn't let herself feel for 20 years. She slumped in those arms and she lost track of time as the last of the ice inside her melted away in the flood of lava that was her lover.

After a while they stopped, just touching each other as if the other were as fragile as the water drops in a lady's mantle at dawn. Shivering, almost falling. At last they both opened their eyes again. Somehow they'd ended up lying on the bed, just holding each other with Narcissa's head on her lover's chest.

Red lips leaned in and whispered into a pale ear, surrounded by blonde waves;

"I love you, Narcissa Malfoy."

Narcissa closed her eyes, feeling more warm and content than she had in years. She lifted her head to whisper back;

"And I love you, Hestia Jones."

**Fin.**

* * *

><p><strong>Below is the song that inspired me to write this fic. Enjoy!<strong>

_**Fire and Ice – Within Temptation**_

_Every word you're saying is a lie__  
><em>_Run away my dear__  
><em>_But every sign will say your heart is deaf_

_Bury all the memories__  
><em>_Cover them with dirt__  
><em>_Where's the love we once had__  
><em>_Our destiny's unsure__  
><em>_Why can't you see what we had__  
><em>_**Let the fire burn the ice**__  
><em>_Where's the love we once had__  
><em>_Is it all a lie?_

_And I still wonder__  
><em>_Why our heaven has died__  
><em>_The skies are all falling__  
><em>_I'm breathing but why?__  
><em>_In silence I hold on__  
><em>_To you and I_

_Closer to insanity__  
><em>_Buries me alive__  
><em>_Where's the life we once had__  
><em>_It cannot be denied_

_Why can't you see what we had?__  
><em>_**Let the fire burn the ice**__  
><em>_Where's the love we once had__  
><em>_Is it all a lie?_

_And I still wonder__  
><em>_Why our heaven has died__  
><em>_The skies are all falling__  
><em>_I'm breathing but why?__  
><em>_In silence I hold on__  
><em>_To you and I_

_You run away__  
><em>_You hide away__  
><em>_To the other side of the universe__  
><em>_Where you're safe from all that hunts you down__  
><em>_But the world has gone__  
><em>_Where you belong__  
><em>_And it feels to late so you're moving on__  
><em>_Can you find your way back home?_

_And I still wonder__  
><em>_Why our heaven has died__  
><em>_The skies are all falling__  
><em>_I'm breathing but why?__  
><em>_In silence I hold on__  
><em>_To you and I_

_Every word you're saying is a lie_


End file.
